from “Wild Swans” by Edna St. Vincent Millay
I question less when I’m tired of asking more.
Look into my wounded heart and implore; selfish answers surface, flooding every pore.
After I’ve wept, when I’m choking and I’m sore, then, before me, the heart opens its door, revealing what it’s kept, a glimpse of the lies within its core.
In that moment, I recognize what fills the empty space; a lack of faith is what I store.
How can it be, so much of God in all I see, leaves little to no faith in me?
If you had not left me to myself, on my own, I would not know how I could or why I feel alone.
Sometimes, while home, in my own space, I feel lost and out of place… need to find my groove.
It’s the desire to self-improve veiling a need to fill the empty cavity made from empty promises galore; which, only serve to feed a longing for something more.
For my attempts to steal the throne… make it my own; I bear the cost rather than… wear the crown.
You’ve turned away; I cannot see you face to face.
Without you… nothing’s here, along with, only hope, for saving grace.
Hiding the shapes of light, a shadow is the emptiness that spills through space.
Void of form, this lack of bright is the nothing, it’s the empty in the room.
Me and my shadow share this, the darkest temple of doom;
where, shadows faithless wielding sends us… under heavy attack, bends us, until we are yielding to the most powerful torment… unbelief.
Beyond… long into the dark, a flickering remains, for our weighted heart to know, the dream of hope… the way to escape.
Without belief… it seems there is no way to belief and no relief, no one to run to; nowhere to hide –this torment stays with you, there, on the inside.
There is a way… in one day, hearts will be lifted to the shadows stem;
in one, the deepest-long-lasting breath… take flight, no longer sore, dying and near death; now will soar to the greatest height, to see only the brightest light.
At once, we will, know The Way… know one to run to and know where to hide.
Refuge lives in grace.
There is no need for saving face; it reigns everywhere and, at once, will fill the empty space.