Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt


Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt


In studying the nature of a shadow in relation to the source of light creating it I am struck by the area between the shadow and the light, the area which is confused and dull, being neither, light nor shadow but affected by both, being partially lit and dimmed by the ensuing darkness, seeming to fade out until fully consumed.

The light source commands a shadow’s form and space, giving it shape and declaring its position by the shining. The shadow falls below and at the foot of whatever the light lands on. It is a lackluster version of what it follows, forever separated from its source, never catching up to it’s maker; rather, it receives what form the light makes of it; always reaching out but never beyond its strict boundary. It seems to swallow up in darkness, anything it intersects however it lives alone, where the light shifts it, as the light moves effortlessly and without restriction. The light creates the shadows existence and space for it.

The shadow is an effective tool in the creation of dimension and is a source of confusion and distortion as it hides aspects or blurs them. It cannot see certain aspects because its boundaries do not allow it to develop beyond itself       unable to rise above the bottom, where it begins. If it does expand, it would only be into the speckled mist of doubt, that area between dark and light, in the added dimension where we are guests, subject to both the light and the darkness, a dimension unto ourselves where we are host to spiritual bodies, both of the light and of the darkness. We live there, in doubt. If we are confident, it is a false confidence since we are subject to perpetual incomprehensibility. Even faithfulness to a belief is questionable given our steadiness in flickering between the light and the dark and our inability to distinguish between them       things, which seem good to us time and again, prove to undermine our good intentions. Much of this due to prided self confidence, which is nothing more than disregarding the self doubt and putting forth effort; reasoning, whether we doubt or not, conceptually, there is the potential of a 100% success rate which can only happen if an attempt is made; that said, the other side of the pep talk seems to be, if things do not go according to plan, there is a potential of less than 100% loss because you won’t know until you try and you will perhaps grow stronger with the effort; however, this is only if you have nothing to lose… you would still have the potential to lose 100% in energy and resource. It seems clear; we are full of doubt and desire! Our desire compels us to walk through the valley of the shadow of doubt in order to win; although we are not really gambling, the game is rigged in our favor!

Our intellect and our being steeped in doubt are not what gives us an edge, rather we are perched on the edge of darkness and shift with the light. As the light moves, we are moved. Our being on the precipice between what we can see and what is unclear to us (knowing and not knowing) is the added, new dimension. Before us, there is light and dark, each knowing one or the other; but being sandwiched between, we are touched by both. This added dimension, our being on the verge of darkness and light, makes way for our merger into light. Why not a merging into darkness? Because the darkness is a created dimension too, not a creator as is the light. The darkness can only be as and where the light puts it       light’s the way. It’s not a game we’re in; rather it is our beginning in the act of winning confidence.

Being in doubt shakes our confidence, but we can have full confidence in knowing we will not be consumed by darkness but will be plucked from the darkness (redeemed) by light. Though it may seem like a shadow can over-shadow; it can only move and shape-shift as the light commands it. We too are limited, to the area between them where we are temporarily restricted by the shadow blocking us from the light; still we are dwelling in a form subject to change, as we are forever cast by the light and readied to go beyond the shadow of a doubt, joining the caste of light in its world of clarity, forever, when doubt is cast upon the shadow.



There’s been a death in the family, Uncle Max.

I keep praying I am an exception to the rules. Not, the rule of death, as sometimes I feel, that might be a welcome reprieve; just waiting of a different kind.

I am referring to an exception to all of the pain that is usually the precursor to the death of loved ones and the suffering we all experience until we die… until our time comes.

I can embrace the concept of learning value through suffering and the idea, you cannot know happiness without knowing sadness, etc. This is the cycle of learning.

To understand a thing, we must become familiar with its opposite. There it is, life and death.

We are born to a planet, which, is dying and, as a stars birth begins its death; ours does as well.

That point where the star begins expending energy unto burnout. Our birth is similar; that point, where we begin to spend our energy until we are spent.

We lie and die under the stars above.  Starlight; starbright.

God says his children will be more numerous than the stars. How many stars are there?

The number is not as important as God’s promise that not one life will be given to death, a second death, that is.

We, like the star, are born to die, however, we will be born again… passing over… passing through, death, to never ending life.

Our “passage” is the death of the flesh.

To know and understand life, we must become familiar with its opposite, which is, death.

We are familiar with time because of deaths abrupt end. We measure our current life by it.

To understand untime, i.e., eternity, we will live without death, the next… time.

Starlight, starbright, you, can only be seen at night.

Come a day when you will pass away and out of sight.

There will be no more night.

In that day, there will be only lasting light.

The Party’s Over


The Party’s Over

Bliss, that is something I miss.

Swish, swish, all we dooswish

A cold draft brushes by

Debris rushes, filling each eye

I cannot look away

Pasts garbage visits today

I close my eyes

Breathing heavier sighs

Swish, swish, all I dooswish

Not this again

Thrust back to a place I go now and then

My only regret

Every moment I don’t forget

Swish, swish all I dooswish

A sweet start all fresh

Free of burn in this heart of flesh

The heat does not yet dissipate

It glows, though it’s far too late

Swallowed embers scorch

Buried in the depth, this writhing torch

Swish, swish, all I dooswish

I smiled in lifes charm

Once puffed up, elated on the inside

Both eyes shut, seeing no harm

Now scuffed up, deflated on the outside

Lights out

Put it to bed

Swish, swish, all we dooswish

Tomorrow, tomorrow

It’s you, come again

To take me where I’ve been

Blinds drawn

Morning lips its promises

Streams of hope for lifes kisses

Swish, swish all we dooswish


Swan Song~~~Saving Grace

MyBlogPic_SwanSongSvngGrace_120114I looked in my heart while the wild swans went over.
And what did I see I had not seen before?
Only a question less or a question more;

from “Wild Swans” by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Swan Song   Saving Grace

I question less when I’m tired of asking more.

Look into my wounded heart and implore; selfish answers surface, flooding every pore.

After I’ve wept, when I’m choking and I’m sore, then, before me, the heart opens its door, revealing what it’s kept, a glimpse of the lies within its core.

In that moment, I recognize what fills the empty space; a lack of faith is what I store.

How can it be, so much of God in all I see, leaves little to no faith in me?

If you had not left me to myself, on my own, I would not know how I could or why I feel alone.

Sometimes, while home, in my own space, I feel lost and out of place… need to find my groove.

It’s the desire to self-improve veiling a need to fill the empty cavity made from empty promises galore; which, only serve to feed a longing for something more.

For my attempts to steal the throne… make it my own; I bear the cost rather than… wear the crown.

You’ve turned away; I cannot see you face to face.
Without you… nothing’s here, along with, only hope, for saving grace.

Hiding the shapes of light, a shadow is the emptiness that spills through space.

Void of form, this lack of bright is the nothing, it’s the empty in the room.

Me and my shadow share this, the darkest temple of doom;
where, shadows faithless wielding sends us… under heavy attack, bends us, until we are yielding to the most powerful torment… unbelief.

Beyond… long into the dark, a flickering remains, for our weighted heart to know, the dream of hope… the way to escape.

Without belief… it seems there is no way to belief and no relief, no one to run to; nowhere to hide –this torment stays with you, there, on the inside.

There is a way… in one day, hearts will be lifted to the shadows stem;
in one, the deepest-long-lasting breath… take flight, no longer sore, dying and near death; now will soar to the greatest height, to see only the brightest light.

At once, we will, know The Way… know one to run to and know where to hide.
Refuge lives in grace.
There is no need for saving face; it reigns everywhere and, at once, will fill the empty space.


Once April fooled; only to be schooled


You’re Just Too Good To Be True

You invited me inside your tortoiseshell

Drawn to your inner glow; you, I thought, would keep me well

I saw you as so strong and loved you wanting me along

As we slowly made our way

From what felt like such a special place, I hoped we would never stray

Then one day with a sharp hard snap, you tossed me off your back

My heart ripped as yours hardened, now closed and fully zipped

My eyes jarred open from the lie

Where was I?

You could not shield me from hurtful things of any size at all

Landing on the ground, it hit me; I was always bound to fall

You would not shelter me a bit; I simply couldn’t fit

Only then I knew

I was too much for you

If only your world was not so small

I was eager to share it all

Sadness now accompanies me like a cloud

I can’t help but cry aloud from the awful goodbye you hissed and,

How I could not see beyond you in the mist

That same tongue once whispered in my ear delight;

Making me feel, all things with me were right

You had a sparkle, a gleaming;

Nothing but a reflection from the sun, only seeming to be great

Now I am alone and forced in wait for someone who can wipe clean my slate

Who may be coming soon and will then shut off the moon

Then, you will appear as the night, not truly bright like him who holds the light

I have not forgotten how you made me feel

I am still wondering if any of this is real

You hypnotized me; you’re glimmering like a jewel

Stunned was I to learn you were really cruel

What you left to me is only pain from having been severely slain

As you are so slow to roam; it goes unnoticed; you offer only a temporary home

Though you shine, you are dim, more like the night and unlike him and his true light

He is both big and wise with no need for disguise

He does not look through reptile eyes

Fooled, I did follow your faint glow

You brought me here and made me low

All of this was meant to be for my eyes to finally see

It is another I must abide; you were just my ride

I struggle to stay steady; but you’re undoing is how I’m made ready

Here I sit merely a ghost of one whom once felt cared for most

My eyes filled with tears over you, but you, just put here for show

 So one greater than you, forever I will know

You’re just too good to be true

 – iFyst